How To Get Your Ex Back Fast (In 5 Quick Steps)

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A tumultuous relationship is often the mark of two incredibly passionate people coming together. Breaking up and getting back together does not make a relationship week, it only means that two people need to separate and sort their emotions out before getting back together in order to make their relationship work.

There may be times that you are ready to mend your fences but you don’t know how to get your ex back to the negotiating table. You wish to fight for the relationship, but do not know where to start.

It is important to realize that the longer you wait to try and earn your ex’s trust again, the harder it will be for the relationship to be fixed.

Here are 5 quick steps that you can take to get your ex back as quickly as possible so that you can work on creating a better and stronger relationship.

Validate their feelings.

Whether or not you agree with everything that they have said over the course of your break up, it is important to realize that their feelings are valid and acknowledge them. Many failed relationships have happened as a result of one or both partners feeling like their opinions are not valued or their feelings are not considered real.

Avoid common defense mechanisms that resort to belittling your partner’s feelings, like calling them crazy or implying that they are not smart. A relationship can not be mended using negative tactics.

Instead of tearing their feelings down, Focus on letting them know that they have the right to feel the way they feel. Even if your intentions were not to deliberately hurt them, owning the things you’ve done that hurt them will help  them understand that you really care. This can open up lines of communication because it will allow your ex to drop their defenses.

Share your feelings.

It is important to let your ex know that you want to get back together. This may seem counterintuitive as it may weaken your position, but any deception will not get you to a loving relationship as quickly as direct honesty will. This can also save you time and heartbreak in the long run if your partner has no desire to ever mend the relationship. There is no point trying to force someone back into a relationship that they have walked away from. By being direct and upfront from the start, you can both acknowledge what you want and work towards it from there.

Focus on the good.

If you truly want to get back with your ex, try to let the past be in the past. Rehashing old arguments will not be productive in creating new and stronger relationships. Instead, focus on the things that you love about this person.

 Why did your relationship work in the first place? It’s important to hold on to these reasons while you’re trying to discuss the possibility of getting back together with your ex.

All too often we get so bogged down in the hurt and the negative feelings that we forget what is good about a relationship and what is truly worth fighting for. Remind your significant other of how much you love them and how good toy are together. Show them with little gestures  that you don’t plan on taking them for granted any longer.  Think back to your initial courtship and try to recreate the actions that worked so well in drawing them to you initially.

Listen.

Getting back together with your ex means that you need to truly listen to what they want. If you rekindle a relationship without actually doing what your ex needs and wants, you will end up alone again faster than you can blink. Once you have made the decision to rekindle that flame,  take the time to listen to their needs so that you can meet them. 

For example, if your significant other was frustrated with your lack of affection, do what you can to give them the affection they craved. Hopefully your ex will see your efforts and do their best to listen to your needs as well.

Come up with a Game Plan.

Moving forward, what can you and your significant other do better to prevent another breakup? To create a relationship that lasts, focus on coming up with an agreement with your ex so that you can know what to do the next time there is conflict in your relationship. This way you never have to worry about breaking up and getting back together again. 

Please know that if your relationship is abusive or violent that these steps will be ineffective.  The best course of action in this case is to part ways safely and permanently. Love can be painful, but physical pain is not love.



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