Tell him that you think he looks hot, smells yummy, or whatever the case may be. And do so in the moment. Rave about his old T-shirt after he puts it on Saturday morning. As you hug, tell him that you think he smells sexy. Remark that his rear looks good in that pair of jeans he’s wearing around the house Sunday afternoon. “You serve as your beloved’s best mirror,” says Jim Walkup, Doctorate of Ministry, a licensed marriage counselor who practices in New York City and White Plains, New York. “Where else will he find a sense of someone appreciating his essence and lifting it up?” Plus, by verbalizing his best qualities, you recommit to what’s great about him and the relationship, says Walkup. “You’re reminding yourself why you married him in the first place.”
Put your phone down
An email, text, or phone call will always need a response. But do your best to give your partner your undivided attention when you’re together. Concentrate on him during dinner, when you’re in the car, on date night. “Nothing says ‘you’re important to me’ more than putting boundaries around all of the possible interruptions that impact sharing and being close,” says Walkup. Make eye contact and focus on him during conversations. “It will send the message that you’re fully engaged in what he is saying,” says Marni Feuerman, a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. “The message we send to our partners when they talk and we stare at our phones is that the person we’re emailing or texting with is more important than they are,” says relationship expert Andrea Syrtash and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing).