You’re a fantastic listener
You might think people get charisma from their way with words, but a lot actually has to do with what they do when they’re not in the spotlight, says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. “When you really look at charismatic people, it’s often how they make the other person feel that identifies them as charismatic, which I think is one of the magical secrets about it,” she says. If you act interested in others, they’ll have a better impression of you, which is why charismatic people also happen to be great listeners. Holding eye contact, leaning in, ignoring your phone, and using these other habits of great listeners make the talker feel like the only person in the room,.
You ask follow-up questions
Active listeners aren’t just waiting to pass the time until they can talk again—they really care about understanding what the other person has to say, says Ron Riggio, PhD, professor of leadership and organizational psychology at Claremont McKenna College and author of The Charisma Quotient: What It Is, How to Get It, How to Use It. “Listening is not just ‘did I hear the sounds going through my ears?’ but ‘can I decode it?’” says Dr. Riggio. “Your talking should be to draw out more information from the other person or for clarity.” Asking questions to make sure you’re understanding correctly will help you understand the other person better and build your own charisma. Avoid making these mistakes of bad listeners.