A 100-year study reported out by a top Harvard doctor revealed the single mindset that defines life satisfaction, according to his team's research.
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Gen Z may be the most connected generation in history—but, paradoxically, research shows they are also the loneliest. Nearly 80% of young adults report feeling lonely, a rate almost double that of older generations, according to 2024 research from consumer research firm GWI.
That’s not only about not having plans on Friday night. This type of loneliness can have major consequences that go beyond the emotional: it may also influence how long you live. In 2023, then-U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy declared loneliness a public health epidemic, warning that social isolation carries physiological health risks comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
So, what actually protects against a lifetime of loneliness? According to the director of the world’s longest-running study on happiness, it comes down to something that often takes root in your teens and twenties. Whether you’re a member of Gen Z, a parent to one, or someone simply looking for a fresh dose of joy, this is a shift you can make today that’s scientifically shown to improve your life long-term.
Dr. Robert Waldinger, MD’s book, The Good Life, shares the key discoveries that his team at Harvard made about what makes a meaningful life. After tracking participants for over eight decades, the Harvard Study of Adult Development found a clear pattern: The people who thrived in old age had cared when they were young about making a difference; specifically in their twenties and thirties.
Dr. Waldinger explains that this sense of personal mission leads individuals to stay engaged in life—and that motivation shapes daily life powerfully. “In a day where we are taught to passively consume, I want to encourage people to actively connect, to be selective,” he says. “It’s good to regularly ask yourself what your purpose is.”
This isn’t the “follow your passion” advice young people typically hear. It’s subtly, but importantly, different. Passion tends to focus on the self: what excites you. Purpose, in Dr. Waldinger’s framing, is others-focused, examining how you can contribute to something bigger than yourself.
Dr. Waldinger points to psychoanalyst Erik Erikson’s concept of “generativity versus stagnation” to explain why this matters. “Generativity means wanting to be part of something larger than yourself,” he says—whether that’s mentoring others, raising children, volunteering, or contributing to your community. Stagnation is the opposite of generativity, describing that feeling of being stuck that so many of us have experienced.
“There’s so much emphasis on individuality, but our goals aren’t that different and our problems aren’t as unique as we think,” he says. Recognizing that is the first step in reframing how we look at challenges. When we view them through the lens of purpose then they can help us find happiness, even when things are tough. “Just because something feels hard doesn’t mean it’s bad. Challenges can be happy things too, like having a baby,” Dr. Waldinger says.
People who embrace this type of generativity throughout their lives—especially during challenges—tend to feel more satisfied with their lives and experience less of a feeling that they’re stuck.
The link between purpose and loneliness isn’t coincidental. When you’re focused on contributing to others, it’s likely you naturally build the kinds of meaningful relationships that protect against isolation.
“Humans are social creatures: in this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current loneliness crisis,” Dr. Murthy wrote in a recent essay on loneliness. He notes that chronically lonely people often fall into a negative feedback loop: isolation leads to depression and anxiety, which can lead to withdrawal, which deepens isolation.
“Relationships are the key to surviving and thriving as we age and you can actively cultivate those,” he says. “Look for ways you can strengthen the relationships in your life; look for ways to serve those people.”
The Harvard study’s most consistent finding is that good relationships predict health and happiness more reliably than cholesterol levels, genetics, or income. One takeaway many readers have experienced is that people who were satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
Dr. Waldinger acknowledges that building purpose and connection has become genuinely more difficult. In his essay on the loneliness epidemic, he describes how “efficiency and convenience have edged out the time-consuming messiness of real relationships.”
Young adults face unique challenges: remote work eliminates casual coworker friendships, social media replaces in-person interaction with passive scrolling, and economic pressures leave little time for community involvement. According to the Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory, young people between the ages of 15 and 24 have reduced in-person time with friends by 70% over the past two decades.
“You have to be intentional about the way you use technology,” Dr. Waldinger says. “It can be a way to connect with others, but it can’t be the only way.”
Finding purpose sounds lofty, but Dr. Waldinger says it starts with small, daily decisions. “Happiness is a choice based on data,” he says. “Be conscious of the choices you make every day and make them with purpose.”
Here’s where to start:
The good news from Harvard’s research: It’s never too late to shift toward generativity and connection. Some participants who seemed lost in their twenties became thriving, contented people in their eighties.
Another benefit of finding purpose is that it gives you important perspective. “There’s a big myth in our society that if you’re not happy all the time then you’re doing it wrong,” he says. But happiness isn’t the purpose—it’s the beautiful gift that comes along with living with a sense of purpose.
If you’re feeling lonely or struggling to find purpose, Dr. Waldinger suggests starting small: reach out to an old friend, volunteer for a cause you care about, or simply choose connection over convenience when the opportunity arises. And if loneliness is significantly affecting your daily life, talking with a mental health professional can help you identify what’s getting in the way.
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