Lukas Gage has made a name stealing scenes in popular TV shows like The White Lotus and You, and in movies like Road House. This fall, he’s pushing the envelope on a topic that’s personal to him, and many of us: the way we talk—or rather, don’t talk—about sexual health.

With the upcoming October 14 release of his memoir I Wrote This for Attention, Gage gets candid about mental health, sexuality, and the shame that still surrounds both. In an open conversation with The Healthy by Reader’s Digest, he told us that by sharing his own experiences—from sexually-transmitted infection (STI) scares to checking into a mental health facility—he hopes he can help normalize conversations that too often stay behind closed doors.

Gage also shares why he’s partnering with the biopharmaceutical company Gilead and its HealthySexuals campaign, what he recommends to those who are nervous to talk about these topics, and which celebrities he looked to when writing down his own story.

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Courtesy Gilead/HealthySexuals

The Healthy by Reader’s Digest: Lukas, your memoir shares intimate experiences about sexual health and self-care. What motivated you to be so open, and how did you navigate writing something so vulnerable?

Lukas Gage: There’s a lot of pressure … deciding what to put out and what to keep in. Ultimately, there was a different version of this book that was more tame and held back. And then I just kind of got sick of being shameful about any of the mental health, sexuality, and sexual health stuff that was part of it. I don’t think this is an inspirational book whatsoever, but I wanted to give back by sharing some things that I had learned. If anything, I think knowledge is power—at least, having an open conversation on this kind of scale can hopefully inspire other people to have open conversations as well. Ultimately, I just went all for it.

The Healthy: What was the hardest thing you included in the memoir, and what’s been the feedback so far?

Lukas Gage: I think the hardest thing is that I’m naturally someone who goes to humor as a self-defense mechanism. There’s a lot of humor and a lot of jokes in this book, even in the dark stuff—that’s just how I deal with some of it. But my favorite feedback I’ve received is from friends and family who said, “Oh, I understand you so much more as a person.” It helped me understand myself, feel empowered, and feel like I could be gentler with myself.

The Healthy: Were there any memoirs you read that guided you through the process?

Lukas Gage: A couple come to mind. Demi Moore was really raw, honest, and open—I don’t think she held back at all, and I really admire her writing. [Actress and model] Julia Fox’s writing was just beautifully written, and I connected to her in that we can both be polarizing and provocateurs, but there’s something really honest underneath it.

The Healthy: What was the scariest thing for you to write?

Lukas Gage: Talking about how I checked myself into a mental health facility. There’s so much stigma and shame around admitting that. But again, if I can help normalize it by being open about my experience, that’s what matters. Just because I had that one situation, [it] doesn’t define me. It was just a detour on the way to where I am now.

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PRESLEY ANN/STRINGER/GETTY IMAGES

The Healthy: There are so many actors who’ve had career success after going to rehab or mental health facilities—Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr., Brad Pitt talking about sobriety, Ben Affleck. You’re a younger voice doing it for your generation, which is a big deal.

Lukas Gage: Thank you. I feel like if you’re sick and you get treatment, it’s applauded. But with mental health—and sometimes sexual health—there’s less empathy. I’d hope we can treat it more delicately.

The Healthy: So many people hesitate to talk to their doctors about sexual health or HIV prevention. What advice would you give to someone nervous about starting that conversation? You’ve said before that choosing PrEP can be an empowering act of self-love. [Editor’s note: PrEP is an HIV prevention drug, as defined by the National Institutes of Health.]

Lukas Gage: Yeah, I think taking PrEP, for me, means being responsible. It’s a smart choice whether you’re single, in a relationship, or just exploring. I write in the book about some STD scares and situations where I was fearful and uncertain. By taking PrEP, you can diminish those fears, take control, and be proactive about your sexual health. It can feel daunting and uncomfortable sometimes, but I’d recommend having the confidence to take that first step and talk to a doctor. And if you don’t know where to start, with this campaign we’ve provided a site—Lukas.HealthySexuals.com—with resources and information for people who may not have the access or community that someone in a big city does.

The Healthy: What changes do you hope to see in healthcare, pop culture, or education when it comes to reducing stigma around sexual health and mental health?

Lukas Gage: With mental health, I think there are a lot of places designed to help people that unfortunately do the opposite. I experienced that in some mental health and rehab facilities, and I hope we can get to a place where vulnerable people are treated better. With sexual health, I think it’s just about continuing the conversation and ending the idea that it’s taboo. Everyone has sex—let’s stop being weird about it.

The Healthy: You’ve worked on projects that are very much in the zeitgeist—The White Lotus, You. How have those experiences influenced your perspective on balancing a demanding career with your health and wellbeing?

Lukas Gage: For me, there was a time when I was searching for negative things about myself online. Some dark part of my brain was fueled by mean comments and this access to everyone’s opinion. For a long time, the internet was truly making me crazier. I’ve learned that no one’s opinion about me is my business.

The Healthy: Tell us about your nutrition and physical routine.

Lukas Gage: It’s all about moderation. If I’m working, I’ll stick to a diet, but I’m literally eating a cookie right now. I work out about five times a week—not just for aesthetics, but because if I don’t, my brain goes crazy and I can’t turn it off. Sometimes you go to Cheesecake Factory, have a skinny margarita with friends… That’s not the end of the world. Too much self-introspection and obsession with food and exercise can be toxic. You’ve got to balance it out.

The Healthy: What do your workouts look like?

Lukas Gage: I switch it up—I can’t just go to the gym and lift weights. I do Pilates twice a week, a workout class once a week, a hike once a week, and a personal training session. Pilates is so good. It makes my body feel incredible, and I don’t get injured from it like I sometimes do with lifting weights or running. Lately I’ve been walking a lot more—trying for 20,000 steps if I’m not working, at least 10,000 if I am. In New York it’s easy to just walk with headphones. I try to do it first thing in the morning, even 20 minutes, to clear my head.

The Healthy: What’s one self-care ritual you refuse to skip?

Lukas Gage: Once a week I get a foot massage, no matter where I am. I’ll find a place—it’s the best thing in the world. There’s a lot of research on reflexology and the benefits for overall health. That’s my one ritual.

The Healthy: The fascia all connects through the feet—it’s the body’s foundation.

Lukas Gage: Totally agree. When I do acupuncture, the work on the foot is some of the craziest—you can feel your neck twitching. There’s a connection to it all.

The Healthy: Last question: it’s fall now—what are you looking forward to this season?

Lukas Gage: I’m so excited for this book to come out, and for people to read it. If you don’t like to read, it’s also [an audiobook], so you can listen on your morning walk. It’s out October 14th. I can’t wait to share it.

The Healthy: Do you read the audiobook yourself?

Lukas Gage: I did! I’m also excited to travel—I’m going to London next month.

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This interview has been edited for length and clarity.