First, be compassionate
One of the most pivotal pieces of advice is to be compassionate when working through relationship issues with an anxious partner. “Try compassion first instead of yelling or, the reverse, giving the silent treatment,” says Tara Dixon, a mental health therapist based in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. When compassion is used first; you are able to express your negative feelings in an effective manner. “Remember that words can’t be taken back,” Dixon adds. “A person suffering from anxiety will play your words over and over in his head. You can’t undo that damage.” Here are 14 phrases that can help instantly calm anxiety.
Don’t take her reaction personally
Your partner’s thought process is different from yours if she is anxious, so don’t compare what your reaction may be with hers. It’s important to take a moment and understand where she is coming from. “People without anxiety don’t think about all the ‘what ifs’ connected to a simple situation,” clarifies Dixon. “When you are anxious, one bad thought turns into a hundred thoughts, your thoughts get louder and louder, until they are the only voice you hear. When you partner seems grumpy or impatient, or tired, it’s not you. Her mood is being directly affected by an avalanche of negative thoughts.” (Related: Find out how naturally calm people avoid stress.)