17 Relationship Communication Quotes Every Couple Will Love
Poor communication can be a relationship deal breaker. Here are some expert tips for better communication, plus quotes that'll inspire you to both speak up and listen to your partner.
Good communication builds better relationships
When it comes to cultivating and strengthening happy relationships, good communication isn’t just one part—it’s the main part, says Vijayeta Sinh, PhD, supervising psychologist at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and founder of Therapy Couch in New York City. “How you communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner and how they receive that, and vice versa, is the foundation of your relationship,” she says. It’s one of the six characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Learning how to speak your mind clearly but kindly and how to listen and really hear are skills that you can improve with practice. Eventually, it becomes a positive cycle, where good communication builds a strong relationship, and people who feel confident in their relationship become better communicators, Sinh says.
SDI Productions/Getty ImagesAre you a good communicator?
“Partners who communicate well are good at knowing and understanding what the other needs from them and know how to meet those expectations,” Sinh says. How do you know if you and your partner are communicating well? Sinh recommends answering the following questions as honestly as you can. They can show you where you are strong and where your communication skills may still need work.
Can you say what you need from your partner without blaming, criticizing, or lecturing?
Can you listen to what your partner needs from you without becoming defensive? And do you remember those needs later?
Do you feel comfortable asking your partner to talk about a difficult issue?
Do you first consider how what you say impacts your partner, practically and emotionally?
When things start to feel tense, can you continue to speak in a patient, calm way with your partner?
Do you feel like you can ask for space to calm down during a heated conversation? Can you give your partner space, if requested?
How do you usually feel after an emotional conversation with your partner?
Need a little inspiration or motivation to improve your communication skills with your partner? Start by reading these relationship communication quotes from experts and people who’ve been there.
Relationship communication quotes
THEHEALTHY.COMWhen did we agree on that?
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw, writer
Nothing is more frustrating than being on the receiving end of a one-sided discussion, a.k.a. a lecture. You can avoid this by frequently checking in with your partner when you are speaking and asking clarifying questions when your partner is speaking, Sinh says.
THEHEALTHY.COMYou look upset
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” — Peter Drucker, management consultant, educator, and writer
Body language communicates just as much, if not more than the words said. This is true both when you’re speaking and listening. Paying attention to the other person’s nonverbal cues is one way to be a better listener.
THEHEALTHY.COMWithout trust, you have nothing
“Trust is the glue of life. It is the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” — Stephen R. Covey, author
Experts say that trustworthiness is one of the most important attributes to look for when finding a partner. Here’s what they want you to know about building trust in your relationship.
THEHEALTHY.COMLove is the beginning, not the end
“I have been in love, and it was a great feeling. But love isn’t enough in a relationship—understanding and communication are very important aspects.” — Yuvraj Singh, an Indian athlete
Falling in love gets you into a relationship, but it won’t sustain it past the initial romance phase. Focusing too much on heady passion at the early stages of a relationship can make you miss serious red flags, like love bombing.
THEHEALTHY.COMRelationships can’t exist in a vacuum
“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen is to life. Without it, it dies.” — Tony A. Gaskins Jr., life coach
Talking is just one way of communicating. Physically connecting is another way to show and receive love with your partner. Here’s why sex is important to your relationship.
THEHEALTHY.COMStart with the basics
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” — Mark Twain
One of the hardest parts about having difficult conversations with a loved one is knowing how to speak the truth but in a kind and loving way. It can also feel tricky to navigate if you’re unsure if your partner is telling you the truth. (This is how to spot a liar.)
“Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and poor communication.” — Harriet B. Braiker, psychologist and author
People who brag about being married 20 years without ever fighting are either delusional about the state of their marriage or lying. Having and resolving arguments is simply a part of being in a relationship with another human being. However, not all fights are the same; these are the arguments that end relationships.
THEHEALTHY.COMRespect the relationship
“A lot of problems in the world would be solved if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” — Nicky Gumbel, spiritual leader
It’s normal to seek some support from family members or friends when you’re having a tough time with your partner, but make sure you’re communicating your feelings with your spouse first and be very careful about what you share about your relationship with others. If you feel like it’s impossible to talk with your partner, it may be a sign you need to break up.
THEHEALTHY.COMCommunicating is connecting
“A relationship without communication is just two people.” — Unknown
A lack of communication hurts every other aspect of your relationship and is one of the most-cited reasons for divorce. (This is the scientific reason couples get back together after a breakup.)
THEHEALTHY.COMHe said, she said
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” — Tony Robbins, motivational speaker and author
Understanding where your partner is coming from, including their childhood and relationship history, can help you become a better communicator. Similarly, being open with your partner is an invaluable tool. Learning to speak your partner’s “love language” is one of the five factors linked to successful relationships.
THEHEALTHY.COMI could talk to you all night
“Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” — Anne Morrow Lindbergh, author and aviator
I can’t stop thinking about what you said. How often has something your partner said to you lingered in your brain for days or even years? Make sure those words are positive. Use these tiny ways to tell your partner you love them every single day.
“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively, with words of encouragement, or destructively, using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” — Yehuda Berg, spiritual leader
Verbal assaults should not be considered less painful than physical ones. Neither is acceptable. (Here’s how to leave an abusive relationship.)
THEHEALTHY.COMSay it again
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus
Listening is a vital yet often-overlooked skill in good communication. Not sure how well you’re doing? Check out these clear signs you have bad listening skills and how to work on improving them.
THEHEALTHY.COMKnow your emotional IQ
“Effective communication is 20 percent what you know and 80 percent how you feel about what you know.” — Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker
The words you choose can convey the details, but your feelings behind them will really deliver your message. Do you have a hard time talking about your emotions? You may have this common disorder.
THEHEALTHY.COMSilence is golden
“I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.” — Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States
Good communication is just as much about knowing when to stop talking as it is about knowing when to talk. (Note: This is not the same as punishing your partner with passive-aggressive behavior like the silent treatment.) Does silence make you uncomfortable? Use these mindfulness quotes to settle your mind and help you listen better.
THEHEALTHY.COMIt’s worth the work
“Without good communication, a relationship is merely a hollow vessel carrying you along a frustrating journey fraught with the perils of confusion, projection, and misunderstanding.” — Cherie Carter-Scott, PhD, life coach and author
Confusion during or after a conversation with your partner is one of the hallmarks of manipulation. Here’s what you need to know about gaslighting and how to tell if you’re experiencing it.
THEHEALTHY.COMBend, don’t break
“The 3 C’s of healthy relationships: communication, compromise, commitment.” — Unknown
Finding the love of your life is just the beginning of your journey together. Learning how to communicate, compromise, and truly commit to each other is what will keep you together through all the ups and downs.
Now that you know these relationship communication quotes, check out how to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
- Vijayeta Sinh, PhD, Supervising Psychologist at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and founder of Therapy Couch in New York City