Love Language Quiz: Which of the 5 Love Languages Do You Speak?

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The theory of the five love languages was first developed by Gary Chapman in 1992, and relationship experts still refer to it today to help romantic partners understand how to make one another feel loved and appreciated. People have different values in a relationship and experience love in uniquely personalized ways. So, according to Chapman’s theory, couples who learn and practice each other’s love language build stronger connections and grow closer as a team.

After all, “not feeling loved” is one of the major reasons behind conflict in a relationship—and research says it often boils down to gaps in couples’ communication. A 2022 study published in the journal PLOS One upholds Chapman’s core approach: Couples don’t need to have the same love language, but those who understand and express their partner’s preferred style have far greater relationship satisfaction.

This love language quiz will help you identify how you best give, and receive, love—then, test these communication tips to let your partner know what you need for a closer, stronger bond.

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What is my love language?

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It’s been a busy week, and you want to catch up with your partner—what’s your ideal date plan?

1. Go dancing, either at a club, in a class, or right in your living room

2. Stay in and cook a creative meal together

3. Treat them to something new they’ve wanted to do, like an escape room or painting class

4. Go out for karaoke night and sing a love song to your partner

5. Clean the house and have a movie night set up with all their favorite snacks

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Which is your biggest pet peeve about a partner?

1. They rush out of the house in the morning without stopping for a kiss

2. They’re scrolling on their phone too much

3. They won’t accept help or acknowledge when you get them something nice

4. They don’t respond to text messages or are short with replies

5. They’re always leaving their dishes in the sink

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What birthday gift would you be most excited about?

1. A romantic night in, complete with candles and a massage from your partner

2. A fully-planned day trip for just the two of you

3. That item that’s been sitting in your shopping cart, but you can’t justify spending money on

4. A framed photo collage of your best memories together

5. A homemade meal and your favorite cocktail

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When you’re going through a stressful time, what’s the best way your partner can make you feel better?

1. Hugging you and holding you close

2. Taking a day off work to spend time with you

3. Surprising you with your favorite takeaway meal delivered to work

4. Reminding you of your strengths and what they admire about you

5. Takes chores off your plate without being asked

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It’s a lazy Sunday morning and there’s nowhere to be—how do you want to spend this time with your partner?

1. Cuddling in bed

2. Going for a hike together

3. Making them breakfast in bed

4. Sharing your biggest accomplishments of the week over coffee

5. Doing something you know they love, like playing a video game together or watching their favorite show

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It’s the small things that make a relationship feel special. Which little moment means the most to you?

1. A big bear hug from behind

2. When they put their phone away during dinner

3. When you’re running low on your toothpaste or shampoo, and they replace it

4. Receiving a random How’s your day going? text

5. When you’re unwinding from the day, and they bring you a cup of tea or glass of wine

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Your partner’s had a rough day, and you want to do something to make their night easier. What do you do?

1. Give them a foot massage

2. Turn on that show they’ve been wanting to watch together

3. Order you both dinner

4. Leave love notes around the home to help cheer them up

5. Tidy the dishes they left out from breakfast so they have one less thing to worry about, and draw them a bath

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You got in a fight. Now that things have cooled off, what do you need from your partner to feel better?

1. A deep, sincere hug and a kiss

2. Cuddling together while watching a movie

3. They suggest taking you out for a dinner date tomorrow night

4. Reassurance that they love you

5. They cancel their plans tonight to reconnect with you

The Best Gifts for Each of the 5 Love Languages

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What do you feel is your greatest strength in your relationship?

1. Recognizing when your partner is upset and offering a comforting touch

2. Managing your time to make sure you spend enough of it together

3. Remembering the small things: like picking up your partner’s favorite snack on a grocery trip, getting up five minutes earlier to make the coffee, or remembering something they need, like a new pair of socks

4. Complimenting your partner on things they do well and sending little texts to remind them you’re thinking about them

5. Noticing when your partner is stressed out and taking on their share of the chores without keeping a score

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What’s the best form of spontaneity in a relationship?

1. Sex in the middle of the day

2. Your partner calls into work to spend the day with you

3. Coming home to a surprise they got you just because it reminded them of you

4. Finding a love note tucked into your work bag

5. Realizing on Saturday morning your partner already ticked everything off your to-do list

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If you chose mostly:

A’s—your love language is physical touch. You express and receive love most sincerely through physical contact like hugging, hand-holding, and bodily connection, says Lisa Lawless, PhD, a psychotherapist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.

B’s—your love language is quality time. You value the experience of spending time with one another doing something meaningful that creates intimacy, explains Dr. Lawless.

C’s—your love language is gift-giving, a form of communication that links affection with the exchange of loving tokens of appreciation, she says.

D’s—your love language is words of affirmation. This means you respond best to clear, verbal communication, such as expressions of appreciation, admiration, and respect, she says.

E’s—your love language is acts of service, the enjoyment of doing things that help one another, which can be anything from household tasks to romantic gestures such as breakfast in bed, Dr. Lawless says.

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