31 Natural Libido Boosters to Help You Have Better Sex

Updated: May 03, 2021

Little ways to have more fun in bed in tonight.

Get busy tonight

Having intercourse regularly helps to keep your sex drive in high gear by increasing the production of testosterone, which is the hormone mainly responsible for libido in both men and women.


Quit smoking already

If you smoke, ask your doctor to prescribe you the nicotine patch. Why? Because it’s scientifically proven that smoking can clog the blood vessels in the penis in the same way it clogs the arteries in your heart. (Here are 9 proven ways to improve your sex life in one day.)


Consider your meds

Write a list of all the medicine you’re taking, then check for party poopers. More than 200 medications can cause erection problems and diminished sex drive, including drugs used to treat high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and stomach problems. Ask your pharmacist or doctor if any of the drugs on your list could be culprits. Of course, you can’t stop taking a drug you need, but you can talk to your doctor about possibly changing the brand, dose, or timing of your medication. Start taking these vitamins and herbs that can boost your libido.


Plan a getaway

Spend tonight planning a steamy vacation. Even if you don’t go, spending time together picturing where you’d go, looking at photos online, and imagining yourself in some tropical paradise will be enough of a libido booster to get you to bed—early. Plus, it’s a lot more stimulating to talk about than why your teenager is failing geometry. (Learn how the pandemic is killing your libido.)


Practice Kegel exercises

You know what Kegels are—they’re the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy or because you were having a bit of a problem with leaking urine. What your doc probably didn’t tell you is that they’re also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day. Make sure you know the 8 medical reasons for your low sex drive.


Take this supplement

Men: Consider taking supplements of ginkgo biloba. The herb promotes better blood flow, getting more blood to the brain and… other organs. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out how that might help you. Follow the instructions on the bottle, but check with your doctor first.


Cook up a pasta dinner

Make pesto and serve it over pasta tonight. Pesto contains pine nuts, great sources of arginine, the precursor for nitric oxide, a main ingredient in drugs like Viagra. Arginine helps open blood vessels so blood flow improves. And never eat these 8 foods that kill your sex drive.


Act like teenagers

Go to the movies with your partner, sit in the back row, and make out like you used to when you were a teenager. You’ll be combining the forbidden with the frustrating—a sure bet to get your juices flowing.


Touch your partner

Every time you pass your partner, reach out and touch or kiss him or her. Don’t allow these moments to go beyond the kiss or hug. Simply increasing the amount of physical contact you have with your partner will help with desire. This is how many times a day you need to have sex to slow down aging.


Fill up on these foods

Sprinkle 1 tablespoon wheat germ on every cup of yogurt and every bowl of cereal you eat. Wheat germ’s rich in zinc, which is important to the production of that all-important hormone, testosterone. You can also get your fill of zinc in beef, eggs, and seafood—especially oysters. These 19 natural aphrodisiac foods are guaranteed to improve your sex life.


Pretend to be a new couple

When you’re at a party or out in public with your partner, take a moment to stare at him/her across the room as if you were still wooing one another. Sex falls out of a relationship when you take one another’s presence for granted. So don’t.


Host a steamy movie night

Cue up an erotic video and watch it with your partner. Use the time to talk about what you like and don’t like during sex (and before and after). Here are some things that happen to your body when you stop having sex.


Think ‘Fifty Shades’

Read a sexy “bodice ripper” out loud to your partner. Play-act the parts of the ravishing heroine and her handsome, yet dangerous lover. And don’t forget about adult sex toys


Keep your eyes open

Open your eyes when you kiss and when you are intimate. Looking into your partner’s eyes during such times sends an incredible message of trust and honesty. Watch out for the 14 sex problems you should take seriously.


Say what’s on your mind

Say exactly what’s on your mind—sexually, that is. If you’re watching your husband pull out the tree stump in the backyard and you get a certain weakness in your legs watching the sweat roll off his back, tell him. If the sight of your wife comforting your teenage son after his first-ever girlfriend dumped him makes you glad all over again that you married her, tell her. Simply expressing how everyday things make you feel deepens your intimacy when said out loud.


Pretend you’ve just met

Remember that weak in the knees, shivers-up-your-back feeling you used to get when you first met? You can have that again. Call her and ask her out on a date. Dress up for lunch with him. Buy new underwear. You’ll definitely want to take note of these couples with steamy sex life habits.


Create your own intimate rituals

No, we’re not talking about sex. But what about waking him up with a steaming cup of coffee instead of the alarm every morning? What about having a hot bath ready for her in the evening? How about a special dinner out every Tuesday—when most couples are zoned out in front of the TV? Or massaging her feet while you watch Netflix with a big bowl of popcorn? The key is consistency. These are not things you do just once, but over and over again until they become like a secret language between the two of you. Having your own language is just one of 14 ways you can spice up your sex life.


Get a massage

Or a pedicure, or a facial, or whatever makes you feel better about yourself. If you take care of your own body, you’re much more likely to be able to enjoy it. Another good way to take care of yourself is exercise. A side benefit for both men and women: better blood flow to crucial organs. Don’t miss these 19 relationship boosters you can do in an hour.


Find new things to talk about

Turn the timer on for 15 minutes and talk to him (or her) about anything other than kids, money problems, or work annoyances. Tell him about the dream you had last night. The cute teenager you saw at the diner who reminded you of yourself when you were in high school. The great presentation you made today and how it made you feel. When the timer goes off, it’s your partner’s turn.


Take a solo trip

Go away for a couple of days—by yourself. While you’re away, make a list of all the things you love and like about your partner.  Close your eyes and picture yourself making love. Call him/her and have an erotic phone conversation. By the time you get home, you’ll be so greedy for each other that the front hall will look like a king-size mattress. These are the things you should know about having sex in your 40s.


Do it in a different room

Send the kids away and stay home together. Make love in a different part of the house. It can be as steamy as in your bathtub or as romantic as on a blanket in front of your fireplace.

istock/Leonardo Patrizi

Write down your worries

Before you go to bed, take a few minutes to write out a to-do list and a list of your worries. This gets rid of the worries that can often interfere with your ability to relax and become aroused. Find out the 12 things sex therapists want you to know.


Remove the pressure to get right to it

Spend an hour with your partner touching every part of his/her body—but you can’t use your hands. Use other parts of your body (including your imagination) instead. Conversely, caress one another only with your hands touching every part of the body except the genital zones. This can remove any pressure you might feel to “get right to it” after a hectic day on the job and is a wonderful way, at least for the woman, to relax and escape from the daily grind and transition from her other (oh-so-non-sexual) roles.


Eat a dozen oysters

After all, Casanova is said to have had 50 oysters every morning off the breast of a young woman in the bathtub—so they have to be good for something. Actually, as you read a few tips ago, oysters are loaded with zinc, critical for production of testosterone, the sex hormone in both men and women. By the way, this is exactly how many calories you could burn by having sex.


Stop at one (or two) drinks at the most

A small amount of alcohol can set the mood; more can drown the flame of desire, or lessen your ability to see your desire through.


Buy some lingerie

Go purchase at least one item of sexy lingerie. OK, this is for the ladies… But the feel of soft silk against your skin will help wake up those sensuality nerve endings. While you’re out, you might also want to pick up some of these essential oils for a sizzling sex life.

istock/Sebastian Duda

Re-create your favorite sexy scene in a movie

You know the ones—the lobster scene in Flashdance. The ice scene in 9 1/2 Weeks. Mena Suvari’s cheerleading routine in American Beauty, Clark Gable carrying Vivien Leigh up the stairs in Gone With the Wind, the pottery scene in Ghost, the part in The Bridges of Madison County when Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood dance in her kitchen.


Create a romance playlist for him (or her)

Have it playing when your partner returns home. Light a few scented candles while you’re at it. Who knows what might ensue? Take a look at the unexpected health benefits you get from having sex.


Say, ‘I love you’

Tell your partner two things you love about him/her every day. Love, affection, and mutual respect are the bases for a steamy sex life.


‘Sext’ your partner

Tell him or her in no uncertain terms what you would like to do when he or she gets home. This is the surprising age when you’ll have the best sex of your life.


Get physical

Do something physical together, like skiing, a long country walk, a stroll along a beach, or canoeing. Such activities let you see one another in a different light, creating a sense of physical vitality that readily translates into intimacy. Next, learn about the 48 simple ways you can improve your sex life.