What’s Your Sex IQ? Take This Quiz from a Doctor in Human Sexuality to Find Out
Updated: Jun. 13, 2023
Renowned sex expert Dr. Emily Morse shares a quick quiz to help you determine your sexual smarts, and what you can do to sharpen them.
Dr. Emily Morse, sex therapist and host of the podcast Sex With Emily, has been liberating the conversation about sex and pleasure for nearly two decades. In her June 2023 book, Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure, Dr. Morse introduces a new paradigm to help you understand who you are sexually from a deeper and more holistic perspective: Sexual Intelligence (Sex IQ).
Here, Emily provides an exclusive quiz to help you narrow in on what she calls your Sex IQ.
Your Sex IQ is not a measure of how much you know about sex or how good you are in bed. (Although becoming a better lover is a nice side effect of boosting your Sex IQ!) Instead, it’s a way of comprehending where you are sexually at any given moment (and why) and tracking how it changes over time. Along the way, you will come to better understand yourself, your body, your pleasure and your desires.
There are five pillars that make up your Sex IQ:
- embodiment
- health
- collaboration
- self-knowledge
- self-acceptance
Each of these pillars interacts with the others so that when you strengthen one area, you will automatically enhance another. Together and separately, they play an incredibly important role in key aspects of your life: Your pleasure, intimacy, health, and relationships, including your relationship with yourself.
Everyone can benefit from understanding and expanding their Sex IQ, regardless of their sexual history, relationship status, or experience. Whether you are looking to communicate about sex with your partner more easily, understand what really turns you on, start having more orgasms, or simply have more fun or feel more confident in the bedroom, this quiz can help you understand yourself as a unique sexual being and will suggest next steps to evolve your Sex IQ so that you can finally reach your full pleasure potential.
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Quiz: What’s Your Sex IQ?
Write down the number that corresponds to your answer for each of the following statements or questions.
1. During sex, I’m able to be present, focus on enjoying my body’s sensations, and notice what does or doesn’t feel good.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
2. I feel like I am generally in good health. I eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly, I’m on top of my medications, and I am treating any health issues I have.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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3. I know what I need prior to sex in order to fully relax in the moment. For example, I need to shower, connect with my partner, make sure the house is in order, or know that there’s no rush and we have plenty of time for foreplay.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
4. I have explored my body and know how and where I like to be touched to experience the most pleasure.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
5. I masturbate regularly and have a good understanding of how to give myself an orgasm.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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6. I enjoy and feel comfortable both giving and receiving oral sex.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
7. I talk to my partner(s) about our sex life, our turn-ons, and our desires. We give and receive feedback openly even if it’s uncomfortable or awkward.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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8. When I have sex, I enjoy experimenting with different positions.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
9. I’ve experimented with incorporating sex toys into my sexual repertoire.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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10. I feel mostly neutral about my body. It may not be perfect, but I accept it and am grateful for all of the ways it brings me pleasure.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
11. I accept my past sexual experiences, whether they were traumatic or negative in some way, or if they were great or even nonexistent. If I have experienced sexual trauma, I have sought help to begin the process of healing.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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12. I believe that I am fundamentally deserving of pleasure, intimacy, and love.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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13. I know what turns me on and how I want to feel during sex (like worshiped, in charge, or degraded).
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
14. I have a rich fantasy life that I accept and enjoy, either while masturbating or with a partner.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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15. I know what role I prefer to take on with a partner, whether it’s being more dominant, submissive, or switching off between the two.
-
- Strongly disagree: 1
- Disagree: 2
- Neither agree nor disagree: 3
- Agree: 4
- Strongly agree: 5
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What your Sex IQ score means
Add up your scores to determine your total.
Score of 64-75:
You are in control of your sexuality and deeply in tune with your body, its sensations, and your sexual desires. This helps you to be more present in the moment during sex and focused on what you and your partner are experiencing. You likely prioritize your pleasure as well as your mental and physical health. You feel comfortable expressing your needs in and out of the bedroom while being attuned to your partner’s wants and needs. To evolve your Sex IQ even more, perhaps consider trying a new position, or having sex in a new place. There’s always more to explore!
Score of 52-63:
You likely have a satisfying sex life and are attuned to your desires, fantasies, and turn-ons. You can still do more to reach your full pleasure potential! Ask yourself if you are communicating with your partner(s) openly and honestly about what you want and need in the bedroom. Is there some delicate feedback that you’ve been holding off from giving? Is there something on your “sexual bucket list” that you’re too embarrassed to share? It may be difficult or uncomfortable, but being honest with your partner(s) is an important step on your sexual journey.
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Score of 38-51:
You’ve laid the foundation for your sexual wellness and are ready to take it to the next level. Whether or not you already have a masturbation practice, try mindful masturbation, which involves slowing down, being present, and taking in all sensory input. Set the mood and give some love to other pleasure zones on your body before touching your genitals. Play with all kinds of touches, and pay attention to how your body responds. You will gain incredibly valuable information that you can share with a partner or simply use to bring yourself greater pleasure.
Score of 27-38:
You’re on your way to experiencing more pleasure! A great next step is to consider how you can get yourself more excited before sex so you can be present and focused in the moment. Take a desire inventory by asking yourself how important certain things are to you, such as connecting emotionally, sharing a stimulating activity, or feeling safe and comfortable, before having sex with a partner. Also consider scheduling sex, which is hotter than it may sound, as it gives you a chance to look forward to it even more.
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Score of 15-26:
There is no shame here, as your score says nothing about your sexual potential or abilities. You deserve love, intimacy, and pleasure, and by taking charge of your sexuality, you are going to get it. Now is a great time to fully explore your sexuality. A great first step is to get more deeply in touch with yourself and your body. Try a daily meditation or breathing practice, and work more movement into your day. Taking a daily walk, without your phone, is a great way to increase blood flow (which is essential for arousal) and tune in to your thoughts. Also start adding more simple pleasures into your life. These can be things you enjoy that have nothing to do with sex—a great cup of coffee, a warm bubble bath, or simply lighting a lovely candle. Pleasure begets pleasure, and this is a great way to evolve your Sex IQ.
